Finding the roots of rejection

Pastor Dwain New Creation

Ask yourself what the root(s) of your inner turmoil is.  Try to determine what it all stems from even though it has multiplied and become a part of your everyday life.  Take some time and really meditate on this.

Rejection and abandonment result in inferiority.  The best way to look for the root to rejection and abandonment is to take a spiral note book and jot down all the major hurts, sorrows, injuries and abuses of your upbringing years.  These are the things that Satan
has used to reinforce the message.  Most of these things start in our childhood.  Look for “emotionally charged” memories and moments.  Chronicle every year that you have at least one major memory.

One of the men who came to me for healing and help related his story to me this way.  

He had been a fairly normal kid up to the age of 13.  In his childhood he had attended Sunday School now and then and his grades in elementary school were fairly good.  He had never delved into a delinquent lifestyle or been tempted to until his parents got a divorce.  In his mind this divorce set up a scenario of implied rejection, or perceived rejection.  I say implied or second hand rejection with tongue in check.  All rejection is rejection even if implied.  Adults usually wrongfully underestimate that divorce is all about them and their problems with each other. Parents often think their decisions exist on an island, isolated from the children.  They are rejecting each other and the behaviors that have caused conflict to arise in the relationship, but out of that the children are often damaged.

Children don’t see it in isolation.  Children see the departing spouse as abandoning them personally as well as abandoning the spouse that stays with the children (often the wife).  In this case, as a 13 year old, he took the divorce personally.  He took his father’s departure as a rejection of him and an abandonment of him.  He came to believe that he was partially a cause for the divorce.  He believed he wasn’t good enough for his dad and that something was wrong with him.

The finality of the divorce resulted in immediate feelings of worthlessness, failure and hopelessness.  It also caused an immediate identity crisis.  His response was sudden; if his father thought he was worthless, he would just act as if he were.  Maybe he was worthless.  If his father didn’t think he was worth investing into, maybe he wasn’t.  He immediately sought friendship and identity from other kids with similar feelings.  As the saying goes, “like begets like” and “birds of a feather flock together.”  These other young people were the kids acting out their pain and hurt in rebellion and lawlessness.  They were the kids doing drugs, drinking, smoking and throwing their sexual purity away.  This lifestyle change just promoted the misbelief about his worth and the downward spiral ensued until He came as a broken bound up person to the cross of Christ.

By chronicling his life story and all of the hurtful evens  this man was able to identify the source of rejection, inferiority and rebellion(aggressive behavior).  Once he understood where it all came from he could develop a plan to overcome it.

This mans story has been repeated with very little deviation a million times in America and around the world.  This man and scores more are free today because of the truths prescribed in the Bible.  True inner healing didn’t come to this man as the point of salvation.  Salvation only began the work of inner healing.   God began to do His part, the part that only God could do.  Then he had to go back and identify a root of rejection planted by Satan.  Once he forgave his father he was on his way to deal with all the feelings of insignificance, fear and failure.  Then one by one he has set out to overcome the many mental and emotional snares of rejection thinking.